Monday, November 16, 2009

bathroom fixtures

OK for those of you who are sensitive, you may find the following poopoo caca talk objectionable.

There is apparently an entire blog web page or fan page of some sort devoted to the love of the use of the bidet. Bidets are pretty much in every bathroom here (in houses not so much in public facilities.) Well, except for the public toilets that are squat pots...seriously. I had to go to ehow.com to even figure out how and what exactly the bidet was used for. I had questions like how do you use the soap they have and how in hell do you get dry? I still do not know exactly... but even the how to pages said be careful cause some faucets will shoot a strong jet. OMG talk about drips on the khakis!!! One how to page made me laugh: it showed pictures of how to squat or whatever with a person in the picture fully clothed, and the text had the caveat "...of course you would do this without your pants on." sheesh - REEEEEEEEAAAAALYYY???

Anyway, it seems the bidet is a love it or fear it fixture. It seems to me to take up extremely valuable real-estate while being used only rarely but I could be mistaken - on that latter assertion ( i have not asked anyone personally about their usage patterns). Until I saw the web pages devoted to the bidet, I thought it was a vestigial fixture there just because it is posh or extravagant...but now I know there are devotees. Here is a quote I found from a tongue in cheek article advocating for the bidet- on a tongue in cheek website that is "your #1 news source for your #2 business" :

"Usually located adjacent to the toilet, the bidet provides a level of cleanliness that just can't be achieved with mere wiping, douching, or showering. The user adjusts the temperature and water pressure of the bidet, and then sits or squats on the fixture. With the flip of a lever, a jet of water surges reassuringly over the user's sensitive anatomical features, providing a sensation of refreshment and rejuvenation."

Now let's talk toilets....OK? In the US, we have a bowl with that a deeper well at the bottom of the the bowl that leads out .Toilets here have a higher sort of shelf part in the bowl at the front then the deeper well at the back. Only the deeper well though is filled with water – the front higher part is dry. Imagine now some little people and how their output does not fall into the well but well in front of it on the shelf. OK? ( The shelf is like ahem a landing pad and no water to smother bathroom odors and right skid marks galore! My kids laugh about it. Every toilet has a toilet brush next to the toilet to….clean the bowl after use! GEEZ!!! I just don’t geddit. People who have experienced toilets here and in the US say that in the US there is too much water and …um splashing. Well I think there is a place here for some ingenuity some INNOVATION even ( or is that word so 2008 ?). Come on people let’s have a self-cleaning, non-splashy throne invented – and of course low flow too!

Last thing about bathrooms in Italy – public bathrooms are totally 700% gross only to be used in extreme emergencies and usually only the womens is bearable at all. Yes I am a girl and so you may think I am being all girly and needing clean everything but please believe me – we are talking yuckier than the worst porta-potty at a well used camp site you can think of. It is here in Italy where, in having two little boys, I am actually thankful that there is an alternative to the free public toilets: public toilets where one needs to PAY .50E or 1E for the privilege.

nuff said on THAT topic eh?

JT